Redeemed

Here is a blog post I wrote for my church a few weeks ago:

http://porticochurch.wordpress.com/2013/08/03/redeemed/

For years I was bitter. Although I never changed my name, my life echoed the ancient words of Naomi: “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me the Almighty as brought misfortune upon me.”
I was a believer but I never let God get too close. I held Him at bay for years with religion then with Biblical scholarship, then with service and helping others. On the outside all seemed well but my heart was very hard. I had a vague notion that there was something more but the “more” scared me.
I remember sitting with good friends in grad school and admitting that I didn’t trust God. I didn’t cry there was no emotion but just hopelessness. They were quiet and then prayed over me. No amount of convincing would let me know that God could be trusted.
Then He began to change me. It was terrifying and amazing. I began to wrap my mind around the idea that He was not the one who had perpetrated the horrible events in my life. I began to wrap my heart around the idea that I could be known deeply and loved well. I began to wrap my actions around the idea that I could risk and be brave.
Coming to Monroe and joining Portico was yet another step in the long process. Here I learned that my small group of friends were not the only trustworthy people in the world. That I could risk on bigger levels. That I could grow and learn and lead.
This story focuses on Ruth but I wonder what Naomi felt when Boaz took them in? She did not gain a husband but I think she gained assurance that God had never forgotten her. That she mattered. She was redeemed as well. It may be uncomfortable, even terrifying, but we all are in deep need of redemption. Join us tomorrow night @6 as we discover redemption together.